Ok, so if you were actually "wait[ing] 4 it", then I'm sorry to disappoint you and say "i_t" was just my birthday and it came and went yesterday and thank you Sarah for the well wishes and what I am going to choose to interpret as a song. It was lovely, thank you, I'll try to make it to Denver next year for the live performance. My Mom actually tried cheating and calling me the day before with 'oh I had some time so I thought I would call and say hello and see if you had plans for your big day tomorrow'. First of all, nowhere in there was anything close to a 'happy birthday', and second, if I tried to pull that on HER birthday she would revoke my "favorite son" card - AND SHE ONLY HAS ONE! (son that is, not card, although technically she could only have...esplode!) She decided to do the semi-honorable thing and have Dad call me on the actual day. And, from the sound of his greeting, he was confused as to why he was calling...I might have told him my birthday was the 24th thereby driving the crazy train right into the bus of confusion and creating mass apathy.
Overall it was great. I got to chat with a couple people I haven't heard from in awhile (Csi and Knet). I heard from my agent in New Hampshire whom is doing quite well from the sounds of it and is thoroughly enjoying herself. My spy in Tucson gave me a ring and we discussed the finer points of mutual friends spending the first couple hours of a Saturday morning on the wagon - oh and Teh Riva! (coming mid-May). And tonight the LoneKnight and Timmay! took me out to the Brewhouse which is an improvement from last year when stupid Easter made everything be closed on the big day. And the parents sent a gift certificate for half.com which I promptly used to buy Proust was a Neuroscientist – Jonah Leherer, Hot, Flat, and Crowded – Thomas Friedman, and The Party of Death: The Democrats, the Media, the Courts, and the Disregard for Human Life – Ramesh Ponnuru. Also on my list of books to buy are the HOW series by Dr. Doris Haggis-on-whey, seriously look them up, they look hysterical.
A couple excerpts if I may: "Many Barracudas Are Named Ignacio And Want To Direct Films." and "...extremely comprehensive, dealing not only with the larger marine science issues one would expect from such a volume ("The Mid-Atlantic Grey Shark's Guide to Installing Floor Tile," and "What Kind of Music Do Giant Squids Listen to While Traveling by Train?"), but also detailing related topics such as "How Recycling Works in Utah," and "How Bread is Made." This strikes me as a must-own volume of reference material.
Something to consider: celery, raisins, carrots, crackers, cookies, bread, my finger, is there anything peanut butter doesn't make better? Broccoli? pizza?
Gross, pb pizza.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
trickery
Apparently sitting at home, quietly reading is no longer the thing to do on Tuesday evenings, who knew? I've had no fewer than three people call me and excitedly ask "Hey, where you at? What you up to?" 1.) I'm at home 2.) I'm not ending my sentences in prepositions?
These responses, for whatever reason, seem to draw the ire of the caller. "Well, what are you doing later [on]?" Hmmm, since you insist, I was going to finish reading this technical manual for the Cisco CTS3200 TelePresence and Unified Conferencing System then I was going to jump back into Free Culture because it's been two days since I've had a chance to pick that one up and I was thoroughly enjoying it until I had to put it down and actually do stupid schoolwork. Hello? still there? This massive sentence usually puts them to sleep or makes them hang up. But for those still on the line I get a wicked tongue lashing about reading and being "boring" and a "recluse" or "homebody". Look you philistines, I enjoy my quiet time and I enjoy reading I don't care if it's Saturday night or Tuesday night if I have a good book in my hands (or on my Kindle) I want to be reading it. The End.
I guess when I don't want to go out with my friends it's because I "enjoy the dark, dank confines of [my] cave-like apartment", but when they don't want to go out it's because they're "trying to save money" or "have other plans" or "jesus christ it's nine thirty in the morning dude". Look, I'm twenty-five and stuck in a surprisingly meaningless existence - I don't need some silly excuse to drink, if anything I need a reason NOT to be inebriated (and even work fails to be reason enough). I never realized "my friends" - who are terrible people and I have no idea why I bother keeping them around - were so happy with their lives they need special occasions to consume depressants. Me? I do it to help me sleep.
Anyone have good book recommendations? Preferably non-fiction =) I'll pimp How We Decide it's a great book and his blog http://scienceblogs.com/cortex/ is fascinating. It kept me distracted from homework for a few hours this past weekend.
Grandma Simpson would be proud ;)
These responses, for whatever reason, seem to draw the ire of the caller. "Well, what are you doing later [on]?" Hmmm, since you insist, I was going to finish reading this technical manual for the Cisco CTS3200 TelePresence and Unified Conferencing System then I was going to jump back into Free Culture because it's been two days since I've had a chance to pick that one up and I was thoroughly enjoying it until I had to put it down and actually do stupid schoolwork. Hello? still there? This massive sentence usually puts them to sleep or makes them hang up. But for those still on the line I get a wicked tongue lashing about reading and being "boring" and a "recluse" or "homebody". Look you philistines, I enjoy my quiet time and I enjoy reading I don't care if it's Saturday night or Tuesday night if I have a good book in my hands (or on my Kindle) I want to be reading it. The End.
I guess when I don't want to go out with my friends it's because I "enjoy the dark, dank confines of [my] cave-like apartment", but when they don't want to go out it's because they're "trying to save money" or "have other plans" or "jesus christ it's nine thirty in the morning dude". Look, I'm twenty-five and stuck in a surprisingly meaningless existence - I don't need some silly excuse to drink, if anything I need a reason NOT to be inebriated (and even work fails to be reason enough). I never realized "my friends" - who are terrible people and I have no idea why I bother keeping them around - were so happy with their lives they need special occasions to consume depressants. Me? I do it to help me sleep.
Anyone have good book recommendations? Preferably non-fiction =) I'll pimp How We Decide it's a great book and his blog http://scienceblogs.com/cortex/ is fascinating. It kept me distracted from homework for a few hours this past weekend.
Grandma Simpson would be proud ;)
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
inundation
There have been a lot of metaphors used over the years to describe schools; lush gardens where the future is tended and grown, artisans molding the clay of young minds, a factory where the next generation's proletariat can be efficiently subdued, oh, and prison. Ever wonder which is more accurate?
I'm beginning to think teachers are being overwhelmed by the expectations being placed on their profession. Teachers are expected to be well versed in multiple learning theories whose axioms are often very different and occasionally contradictory all while preparing lessons and assessments that incorporate different levels of student abilities, technology, diverse cultural and economic backgrounds, and state and national standards. Oh, and did I mention the tests? All these things seem to obfuscate the only goal a teacher should have: teaching. I realize that common sense dictates that more information, more oversight, more options, and more considerations are all good things, but ultimately it places a considerable drain on a teacher, their mental faculties, and resources.
What other profession has so many groups to answer to? Parents, students, politicians, and administrators. Whose "clients" are people that are being forced to be there? yes, this is assuming the students are the clients - I realize the argument could easily be made that the parents/taxpayers are the clients, but the students are the only people that teachers deal with on a daily basis and also ultimately decide how well a teacher is doing mostly because of their test scores. What other profession is expected to continue their education after being hired on? Teachers are expected to keep up to speed on technology, new learning theories, and new assessment strategies.
Some professions that I can think of that match up fairly well with teachers: doctors - they're expected to remain aware of new medical techniques and diseases, but don't have quite the clientele AND they tend to be fairly well reimbursed. Military personnel are under intense public scrutiny, but again don't have the clientele. Prison wardens have to know the law, deal with cranky clients, and are under a pretty serious microscope. We need a change in focus and priority if we're going to change the metaphor.
I'm beginning to think teachers are being overwhelmed by the expectations being placed on their profession. Teachers are expected to be well versed in multiple learning theories whose axioms are often very different and occasionally contradictory all while preparing lessons and assessments that incorporate different levels of student abilities, technology, diverse cultural and economic backgrounds, and state and national standards. Oh, and did I mention the tests? All these things seem to obfuscate the only goal a teacher should have: teaching. I realize that common sense dictates that more information, more oversight, more options, and more considerations are all good things, but ultimately it places a considerable drain on a teacher, their mental faculties, and resources.
What other profession has so many groups to answer to? Parents, students, politicians, and administrators. Whose "clients" are people that are being forced to be there? yes, this is assuming the students are the clients - I realize the argument could easily be made that the parents/taxpayers are the clients, but the students are the only people that teachers deal with on a daily basis and also ultimately decide how well a teacher is doing mostly because of their test scores. What other profession is expected to continue their education after being hired on? Teachers are expected to keep up to speed on technology, new learning theories, and new assessment strategies.
Some professions that I can think of that match up fairly well with teachers: doctors - they're expected to remain aware of new medical techniques and diseases, but don't have quite the clientele AND they tend to be fairly well reimbursed. Military personnel are under intense public scrutiny, but again don't have the clientele. Prison wardens have to know the law, deal with cranky clients, and are under a pretty serious microscope. We need a change in focus and priority if we're going to change the metaphor.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
4
Talk about a vicious cycle - blowing one's nose, especially when it's all runny and stuffins. You blow it and it feels better, but the more you blow the more tender it becomes and the more sensitive it is. So what happens? Well if so much as a dust particle settles on this area (forget a runny nose) you have to blow your nose again, thereby tenderizing it more, ad infinitum. And guess what IT'S BAD FOR YOU!
To summarizate: Blowing one's nose reverses the direction the mucus is trying to drain and can cause addition bacteria to become lodged in the sinus cavity. Yes, you're supposed to let the mucus drain - into your throat - so all that hacking and disgusting gurgling that person in the cube next to you is doing, they're trying to be healthy about things and not make themselves sicker, give them a break, eh? If you much blow your nose, do it one nostril at a time. And it just wouldn't be publishable in America if it didn't suggest you take drugs. So hop yourself up on decongestants and blow one nostril at a time.
To summarizate: Blowing one's nose reverses the direction the mucus is trying to drain and can cause addition bacteria to become lodged in the sinus cavity. Yes, you're supposed to let the mucus drain - into your throat - so all that hacking and disgusting gurgling that person in the cube next to you is doing, they're trying to be healthy about things and not make themselves sicker, give them a break, eh? If you much blow your nose, do it one nostril at a time. And it just wouldn't be publishable in America if it didn't suggest you take drugs. So hop yourself up on decongestants and blow one nostril at a time.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
thanks
People certainly love giving advice. This never seems to be more evident than when there are injuries afoot. Everyone has a guy to recommend. Or a method of rehab to be tried. Or a diet to be implemented. THANK - YOU. Now please stop, unless your city cures the ailment I don't need to hear about it. On top of that people always have stories of how their experiences were awful. I had so many people tell me of the misery they experienced when they had their wisdom teeth pulled I had an ulcer by the time I got to the office to have them removed. And how did it go? I was eating pizza three days later and had only the smallest of headaches throughout the whole ordeal. Take it from me folks, if you're about to get your wisdom teeth out, everything is going to be FINE. Do not panic. And whatever you do, don't go out the night before, purchase a gallon of vodka, a speedball, rent a car, get hookers, and a new life insurance policy before torching the car and driving it into the Mississippi. Anyways, I had a cervical epidural today which is supposed to reduce the inflammation around the nerve in my spine and hopefully I'll be able to feel my thumb again soon. Regret of the day: Not having a camera to capture the look on my doctor's face when I asked if I could play volleyball this weekend if I felt better. Sorry vball crew, looks like it'll be another week or two ;(
Shout outs this week: Word to all my Catholic peeps celebrating Ash Wednesday tomorrow! Share what you're giving up for Lent in the comments section. I'm giving up procrastinating - no more waiting to do homework. And I'm done putting things off until the "right moment"...this doesn't mean I'm going to ask that girl out right away, just that, once I'm drunk enough I'll totally text her or call and hang up a few times or passive-aggressively hint that I like her and we should go out but never address the situation in a serious manner and ultimately hate myself for my complete lack of gravitas, maybe.
Next, I would tell you to check out the Jeff Bezos interview on the Daily Show where he continues to pimp the Kindle 2, but that would be a waste of your time. Seriously, it was terrible, don't bother.
New book - How We Decide by Jonah Lehrer. In a word: awesome. I only got it yesterday so I've only made it through the first two chapters, but so far it is very readable. If any of you have read Blink by Malcolm Gladwell it is very similar in nature, but not quite as anecdotal. How We Decide seems much more, so far, scientific in nature. Cliffs notes thus far - well it's a book about neuroscience and nueroeconomics. It looks at the rational brain vs. the emotional brain and how people make decisions. Apparently Plato's metaphor of charioteer and wild horses is accurate except the charioteer is the emotional brain. Ok, it's not quite THAT extreme, but the emotional brain is involved way more than any of us would like to think (PUN!)
Speaking of decisions, after leaving the hospital I got back to the train station and out of habit tapped my back pocket to make sure my pass was tucked away. Yep, no pass. I could now decide to take the two dollars I had in my wallet and buy a $1.25 one-way ride or I could bet that there would be no one to check my pass on my twelve minute ride home. What would I decide? What would YOU decide? And which parts of our brain were making that decision?
Shout outs this week: Word to all my Catholic peeps celebrating Ash Wednesday tomorrow! Share what you're giving up for Lent in the comments section. I'm giving up procrastinating - no more waiting to do homework. And I'm done putting things off until the "right moment"...this doesn't mean I'm going to ask that girl out right away, just that, once I'm drunk enough I'll totally text her or call and hang up a few times or passive-aggressively hint that I like her and we should go out but never address the situation in a serious manner and ultimately hate myself for my complete lack of gravitas, maybe.
Next, I would tell you to check out the Jeff Bezos interview on the Daily Show where he continues to pimp the Kindle 2, but that would be a waste of your time. Seriously, it was terrible, don't bother.
New book - How We Decide by Jonah Lehrer. In a word: awesome. I only got it yesterday so I've only made it through the first two chapters, but so far it is very readable. If any of you have read Blink by Malcolm Gladwell it is very similar in nature, but not quite as anecdotal. How We Decide seems much more, so far, scientific in nature. Cliffs notes thus far - well it's a book about neuroscience and nueroeconomics. It looks at the rational brain vs. the emotional brain and how people make decisions. Apparently Plato's metaphor of charioteer and wild horses is accurate except the charioteer is the emotional brain. Ok, it's not quite THAT extreme, but the emotional brain is involved way more than any of us would like to think (PUN!)
Speaking of decisions, after leaving the hospital I got back to the train station and out of habit tapped my back pocket to make sure my pass was tucked away. Yep, no pass. I could now decide to take the two dollars I had in my wallet and buy a $1.25 one-way ride or I could bet that there would be no one to check my pass on my twelve minute ride home. What would I decide? What would YOU decide? And which parts of our brain were making that decision?
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
inebriation
Oh they've done it now. Nope, not talking about L.A. banning new fast food establishments within certain parts of the city. Not talking about Chicago's foie gras ban or New York's War on Trans Fats™ or the country's hatred of smokers. A few days ago there was a headline about New Hampshire introducing a bill to limit the amount of alcohol a bar can serve someone to 1 drink per hour. Fortunately, the aneurysm produced by said headline did not keep me from finishing my unproductive day of work. Unfortunately, it was one of those things that did not immediately leave my head and was, instead, stuck; bouncing quite fervently on my frontal lobe until I simply had to research the matter to satiate my curiosity. As it turns out the bill isn't quite worded that way.
Here it is!
So as it is worded it makes it illegal to knowingly serve someone that is already intoxicated. It seems likely to me the '1 hr/drink' headline comes from the idea that it takes the body about one hour to metabolize one drink (loophole alert: you could technically do three or four shots in the first ten minutes and not ask to be served all night yet still be wayyy drunk and dangerous). Seeing as I now have an agent in New Hampshire I thought I should get her perspective on this. I decided to delicately broach the subject. "WTF is wrong with your state?" I asked politely. "lol. Nothing, why? lower unemployment here" she tartly replied. I was in no mood for verbal abuse, so I quickly presented my scientific findings. "Your legislature is a bunch of stoners that are firmly in the pocket of the powerful Doritos™ lobby and they must be stopped. They're proposing crazy legislation on drinking" I posited. "Like they could ever reinforce that!" she said. Granted, she meant enforce, but lets cut her some slack. She's probably drunk.
The fact that this law is ridiculously difficult to enforce is beside the point. The heart of the issue is that this would essentially make getting drunk, illegal. I realize people are terrified of drunk drivers, but this is not a law that is going address the problem of drunk driving. It seems more likely this law will either a.) make people pre-game a little harder at home before heading out or b.) increase the sale of personal flasks ten-fold. This raises the question, can stores continue to sell twelve packs? or, god-forbid, handles of five-dollar Fleischmann's? Unless there is a special law regarding liquor stores because the way this bill is worded it leaves little doubt " No licensee, salesperson...shall sell or give away or cause or allow or procure to be sold...liquor or beverage to a person under the age of 21 or to knowingly serve an intoxicated individual." I guess the key here is the person being intoxicated. So you're still allowed to go into a store (or bar for that matter) grab a case and head out. And of course everyone is responsible enough to wait until they get home to start consuming their hooch, oh wait, we're legislating responsibility here. No getting drunk at home either!
Oh, and guess what? I happened to find something beautiful while I was researching this. Also on the list of legislation? A bill to lower the drinking age from 21 to 18. Yes, you read that right A BILL TO LOWER THE DRINKING AGE FROM 21 TO 18 - awesome. Hey kids, now you can drink when 8th hour lets out, oh...but you can't get drunk! You still have to do that at school. HAHAHA!
I don't understand the desire to legislate personal responsibility on the masses (gay marriage, suicide, smoking). What makes all this especially outlandish is that the same people restricting personal freedoms are the ones giving banks, auto manufacturers, and airlines billions of dollars in corporate bailouts so their CEOs can continue giving themselves eight figure bonuses. The hell? I heard a proposal that we should have given the billions in bank bailouts to individuals with the rationale being individuals would use that money to pay down credit card debt and/or save the money which means it would, largely, end up in the banks. Then you have a consumer base with a reduced credit burden so they feel freer to spend AND the banks have recouped their money from individuals with poor credit, so you've bailed out people AND their banks. The only argument I can think of against this would be that the individuals of this country aren't exactly known for their fiscal responsibility and rather than use the bailout money to pay off credit card debt or save, they'd use it to buy a big flat screen TV, or put a down payment on a boat or something else equally useless. And now my faith in humanity begins its downward spiral, I need to turn on the news and hear about something good to restore my...wow, turn it off, turnitoff!
Here it is!
So as it is worded it makes it illegal to knowingly serve someone that is already intoxicated. It seems likely to me the '1 hr/drink' headline comes from the idea that it takes the body about one hour to metabolize one drink (loophole alert: you could technically do three or four shots in the first ten minutes and not ask to be served all night yet still be wayyy drunk and dangerous). Seeing as I now have an agent in New Hampshire I thought I should get her perspective on this. I decided to delicately broach the subject. "WTF is wrong with your state?" I asked politely. "lol. Nothing, why? lower unemployment here" she tartly replied. I was in no mood for verbal abuse, so I quickly presented my scientific findings. "Your legislature is a bunch of stoners that are firmly in the pocket of the powerful Doritos™ lobby and they must be stopped. They're proposing crazy legislation on drinking" I posited. "Like they could ever reinforce that!" she said. Granted, she meant enforce, but lets cut her some slack. She's probably drunk.
The fact that this law is ridiculously difficult to enforce is beside the point. The heart of the issue is that this would essentially make getting drunk, illegal. I realize people are terrified of drunk drivers, but this is not a law that is going address the problem of drunk driving. It seems more likely this law will either a.) make people pre-game a little harder at home before heading out or b.) increase the sale of personal flasks ten-fold. This raises the question, can stores continue to sell twelve packs? or, god-forbid, handles of five-dollar Fleischmann's? Unless there is a special law regarding liquor stores because the way this bill is worded it leaves little doubt " No licensee, salesperson...shall sell or give away or cause or allow or procure to be sold...liquor or beverage to a person under the age of 21 or to knowingly serve an intoxicated individual." I guess the key here is the person being intoxicated. So you're still allowed to go into a store (or bar for that matter) grab a case and head out. And of course everyone is responsible enough to wait until they get home to start consuming their hooch, oh wait, we're legislating responsibility here. No getting drunk at home either!
Oh, and guess what? I happened to find something beautiful while I was researching this. Also on the list of legislation? A bill to lower the drinking age from 21 to 18. Yes, you read that right A BILL TO LOWER THE DRINKING AGE FROM 21 TO 18 - awesome. Hey kids, now you can drink when 8th hour lets out, oh...but you can't get drunk! You still have to do that at school. HAHAHA!
I don't understand the desire to legislate personal responsibility on the masses (gay marriage, suicide, smoking). What makes all this especially outlandish is that the same people restricting personal freedoms are the ones giving banks, auto manufacturers, and airlines billions of dollars in corporate bailouts so their CEOs can continue giving themselves eight figure bonuses. The hell? I heard a proposal that we should have given the billions in bank bailouts to individuals with the rationale being individuals would use that money to pay down credit card debt and/or save the money which means it would, largely, end up in the banks. Then you have a consumer base with a reduced credit burden so they feel freer to spend AND the banks have recouped their money from individuals with poor credit, so you've bailed out people AND their banks. The only argument I can think of against this would be that the individuals of this country aren't exactly known for their fiscal responsibility and rather than use the bailout money to pay off credit card debt or save, they'd use it to buy a big flat screen TV, or put a down payment on a boat or something else equally useless. And now my faith in humanity begins its downward spiral, I need to turn on the news and hear about something good to restore my...wow, turn it off, turnitoff!
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