Talk to me sweetly

Do the talking M&Ms do it for people? I mean, is there a subset of humanity out there on the fence about purchasing certain food items, but then they see an advertisement where the food is walking and talking and they're like, yes, I would like to purchase and consume that item. And aren't those people then just closet cannibals?

Or the talking tub of Parkay butter. At least that doesn't take on other human features like eyes and legs, it just talks. And who hasn't had a bag of Funyuns or box of doughnuts say "EAT ME!" to them before? Not to mention the anthropomorphized food that eats itself. The hell? Granted, I haven't seen one of those ads for a while, but I remember a few years ago there was a local place here in Phoenix that had a giant talking chicken discussing the deliciousness of the chicken at the restaurant. Then he was seated by the hostess and started FEASTING ON CHICKEN WINGS! In the words of the late, great Chris Farley, "Who are the ad wizards that came up with that one?!" In summation - anthrofood creeps me out.

On the injury front, my right arm feels like it is trying to jump ship and the neurospecialists I've talked to aren't taking new patients until May at which point I will be a.) fine b.) dead and in either scenario a trip to a doctor's office would seem unnecessary. I went to my, for lack of a better term, family doctor on Friday, so he'll be looking at the MRI/CT films and providing me with options. From the sounds of it physical therapy like traction (yes, Kristin, you called it), or a cortisol shot to the spine which reduces the inflammation and cures world hunger? It sounds terrifying. My arm hurts and it's getting annoying this is stupid.

Weeeeee!

It would appear they're building a Six Flags™ outside my office. Look! It even has its own mono-rail, except it runs on two tracks...around the rest of the city. So it's not going to be an amusement park, but it will be a park and a neat looking one at that. The light rail has been pretty solid so far with the exception that there is no accountability. By that I mean, you don't pay when you get on, you're supposed to buy a pass on the platform and have your pass/receipt when you're on the train and they have security officers on random cars asking to see everyone's pass. There are no turnstiles, no conductors, no guaranteed method of recovery. I've ridden it about a dozen times and have had my card checked once. But it sure makes getting to Tempe quicker! or downtown to the new amusement park. Although at this point I can't go on rides anyway. Oh yeah, guess what happened guys. Apparently I herniated a disc this past week? I'm not sure exactly what happened, but I suspect the five hours of volleyball last Saturday may have been a bit of an instigating factor. Sunday my neck/back was a little tight, Monday it was worse, and Tuesday I fainted on the way to the bathroom from the pain. Who faints? people haven't fainted since the '40s. I made it to work for a couple hours, then went to the Health Center who recommended I go to the ER. A CT scan, MRI, and six hours later I was told I have a C5-C6 disc herniation. ugh. They prescribed steroids for the inflammation and vicodin for the pain. It's one of those things that sounds bad, but like any injury you learn to live with it. And, as with any injury, it's the little things that prove to be the biggest challenges. Stuff like putting on socks, getting a backpack on, shopping for groceries. Man, grocery shopping sucks, carrying around your vittles in that little basket and then carrying them home. woof. And as I sit here I'm reminded - sit with your back up against the back of the chair...no slouching with a herniated neck, big no-no. So it looks like I'm relegated to card games and watching sports instead of participating in basketball or volleyball games. Maybe I'll spend some more time with homework or my French. maybe.