reality

So where did you think you would be twenty years ago? If your life is anywhere close to where you thought it would be, then congratulations you are either incredibly focused and single-minded or some kind of sorcerer. "Having a job" or "being happy" don't count, you don't get points for being a vague and smart-alecky preteen. Five years ago you probably had a better grasp on where you'd be standing today, maybe even ten years ago. But, unless you're over forty, twenty years ago is probably a stretch. Why? Because thinking in the abstract is hard. Especially for young minds where the ability to think abstractly about a solution or outcome are limited at best. (The prefrontal cortex doesn't really start developing until 15 or 16 and doesn't finish developing until 24 or 25 - yes, most of us have passed our cognitive prime. High-five you guys!)

And guess what - for some of us it's still nearly impossible. Look at me, I've talked about 'when this is finished then...' or 'once I've done this I will...' with virtually no detectable progress towards anything that can reasonably be called a goal. The thing is, time has a way of catching up to someone that's always putting stuff off and I think that moment for me might have been last weekend. It's so easy to talk about things when all your projects will take *years*, and suddenly those years have passed and the moment of The Next Step is upon us. I think Next Step's are a necessary part of growing up and experiencing life and accordingly each Step becomes harder and harder to make as networks are built, comfort levels discovered, and priorities get re...prioritized. Sometimes Steps can be put off for more school or a new job or a stable relationship, but school finishes, jobs get monotonous (unless it's a career, in which case you might be done with Steps!), and relationships end (or take their own Step).

In the end I think it's about priorities, what's important to a person will determine their next step. Whether it's career, family, travel, location, people, culture, or something else entirely, these are the things that make it hard to know where we'll be in five years and nearly impossible to know where we'll be in twenty. These are all the things that are affected by the abstraction of time that make life a pain. Oh, but also worth living. Den-what?!