You know what I hate? My conscience or maybe more accurately, my sub-conscious, or something. Not that I think I'd be better off without them/it, just that I wish it'd shut up every once in a while. Like when I'm walking through the store wondering how the hell I can manage to spend a hundred sixty dollars a month on groceries and I grab a bag of Doritos because they're on sale for $1.88 and that little voice goes, "THAT, THAT RIGHT THERE, THAT'S HOW YOU SPEND ALMOST TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS A MONTH ON GROCERIES!"
"Geez, calm down, you don't have to yell at me, man I haven't had Doritos in forever and they finally go on sale and I get a lecture...I really don't need this. Oh crap, am I having a breakdown in the snack food aisle of Safeway? OH CRAP AM I SAYING ALL THIS OUT LOUD?!"
"Now, who's yelling? I needed to yell to be heard over that stupid iPod. What's your excuse?"
It's an awkward feeling watching security of Safeway approach you, nervously glancing at each other, hands hovering over what I can only assume are high-caliber hand canons needed to protect the grocery store from fat people in their Hoverounds and old ladies with their walkers.
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3 comments:
Ah the inner monologues that fight each other. Or I guess the not so inner, monologue. I know it well. Only realize it's an outer monologue when someone gives you the side eye. Eat the Doritos. I hear you got a promotion, you get to have Doritos.
$200 on groceries a month? You're still living on ramen and corn dogs aren't you?
I think $200/yr would get me by on ramen and corn dogs.
Yes, got a promotion, thank you Ri =)
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