and then I found five bucks!

The recurring theme this week seems to be randomness (think people showing up at your cube saying such things as, "How's it going, Doug?" or all my clocks needing to be reset) and as such, we pen this homage to some of the more persistent random uprisings like:

What ever happened to bird flu? or SARS? Weren't they supposed to be the end of the world? Or was that Mad Cow, weird birthmarks, or diabetes? Maybe it was some other communicable disease, who knows.

I'm fairly certain at this point that my bike has some crazy-magical powers. It's most impressive being it is both a conversation starter and killer, generally it goes something like this.
"Man, traffic was a bear coming in and parking was a cougar. Where do you park?"
"Oh, I ride my bike."
"That's cool, so you leave your car at home?"
"No, I don't own a car."
"Oh, that's neat, well, I'm going to go over here and discuss with colleagues modes of transportation that involve engines and, likely, more than two wheels. Hasta"
Other powers the bike has are barely worth mentioning like its ability to travel almost 4 miles in 5 minutes (what time is it anyway?) or the invisibility I'm granted as soon as the cheeks envelope the seat (how else can I explain NO ONE SEEING ME). You hear it all the time 'he came out of nowhere, honest' Well, he came out of nowhere because he was riding a bike that made him formica'n invisible!

Twice in the past week I've shampoo'd my hair without getting it wet first. The most embarassing/funny/odd part is that it took the better part of three minutes to figure out what was going on the second time I did it. It was early. Leave me alone.

I woke myself up the other day because I rolled over to hit the throttle on a space ship that could do light speed and would put me forty-seven years into the future in nineteen seconds. The day went downhill from there.

I woke up once sometime last week, went through the morning routine - breakfast, teeth, vitamin, made lunch, drank water, started riding my bike to work and realized I wasn't that cold then woke up...about forty minutes late...and I was cold. The day went downhill from there.

I woke up Monday. The day went downhill from there.

Anyone reading this should be stoked for fantasy baseball and should want to play with me only to be part of the coolest league name in the history of fantasy baseball leagues...that I have commissioned.

If your boss says something like 'hey, heard you applied for that job that opened up, that's great, if you need a reference let me know, I'd be glad to do it', is that a good thing, or a bad thing? Now that that application is sure to get torpedoed I guess it's time to send off the rest of the apps. That sucks, I kinda wanted that job too, oh well, c'est la vie.

Oh yeah, I'm trying to teach myself French. So far so, um, bon?

Sometimes I think QC and qwantz are spying on me. Not all the time, but there are moments where it's like, "Hey, I just thought that not fifteen seconds ago!"

My fantasy football team is better than yours. The End.