Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Eulogy

So long!
We wish you well.
You told us how you weren't afraid to die.
Well so long.
Don't cry.
Or feel too down.
Not all martyrs see divinity.
But at least you tried.

--Eulogy by Tool

Let this be the ode to 2008. I'm not familiar with harsh language or the proper method of wielding it, but I have to get this out; 2008, I don't like you. Go away. Stephen Colbert brings a frightening prospect to light with this Threat Down. In short, the International Earth Rotation and Reference System Service has announced the addition of another second to 2008 to "keep clocks in synch with the Earth's rotation". 2008, I don't know if you heard this before and if you did then you're a bigger dick than I thought, but please, Go. Away. There's even a big party planned for your send-off tonight. The whole world will be celebrating. That's how much nobody wants you around. Of course, you'll probably find someway to stick around through the first quarter and possibly even the second of Oh Nine, but I, and everyone else are here now to warn you, don't mess with '09. We're not sure if we like this new kid yet or not, but we're willing give them a chance rather than put up with your constant expectoration on all things we enjoy. Bon Voyage '08. Hopefully we'll look back on all this and fondly reminisce about the time we went slumming. Hopefully.

2009, welcome. You have some small expectation shoes to fill. Just don't kill our friends or economy or soldiers or housing markets or auto industries or financial institutions and we should get along just fine. To everyone else; I hope you've had a good year and will raise a glass with me in send off of the past one (we shant mention its name). Happy New Years guys!

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